BookRix

So far this book is rally good. It could use a little editing but it's really good and you should make more.

Hey, I just met you
and this is crazy
but I'm a virgin
so rape me baby!

Alright, so his name wasn't Jacob like the description said. The grammar is atrocious; learn to use when/was and were/where, the proper place for there/their/they're, and speak in complete sentences using complete and correctly spelled words. It would also help if you learned the anatomy, like labia instead of folds, when discussing sex.

It just seems weird that Sam's friend woke her up, oh and I think you meant chef and not chief, and then Sam went into her father's office and in the span of a phone call got raped. Considering she's a twenty-four year old virgin, I doubt she'd consent to sexual contact with someone that quickly. Now if she were a promiscuous individual at the start of the book, then perhaps; but what kind of hair-trigger is Mr. Brown that he can shoot his load in the brief timespan of a phone call and compose himself with no one the wiser? Premature ejaculation much?

Overall, this was terrible. My blind partner and I enjoyed composing this critique more than your book. Thanks for the laughs.