Men, I've Had Enough of Them

Excerpt from my Novel "A Day In June" Von:
User: sjlotz
Men, I've Had Enough of Them
Excerpt from the novel "A Day in June". June has given up men after one worthless relationship after another. She finally gets her life back on track when she meets the perfect man. Not all is at it seems to be, find out what happens to June.

Stichwörter: 
Bartender, 1980, humor, Bouncer, Club
Beiträge und Kommentare
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sjlotz

Thank you for letting me know about me error, I went back and fixed it :)
I read your book and left you a comment.

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lbolden.books

Hi Sally,
It was good but notice on pg. 15 you wrote she had should pads ,instead of shoulder pads. I will vote for your story. Good luck.

Linda B

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gooduklady

I enjoyed your story but feel you should go back before the contest ends and read through it, line by line. There are lots of grammatical errors which are very noticeable and can easily be corrected. My advice: read it aloud. You will then see where punctuation ought to be placed. Good luck.

1 Kommentar
sjlotz

Thanks for you advice. I will. I think I edited it and forgot to save it :-(

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joeparente

Your story was short and sweet with a few errors like comas and spelling but you have a good start. A faster beginning would be helpful./joeparente
Please let me know of the next chapter.
I'll bet you can't read just one (page). It's a mind twisting,murder
mystery,science fiction, on the edge ride.
Try it. You won't be able to stop. If you think it's eligible, please
vote.
http://www.bookrix.com/_title-en-joe-parente-the-timing

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