BookRix

All the dialogue is in the same paragraph until later on in the book for some reason, and you didn't even clarify who spoke at certain points during the first few spoken lines. Ordinarily, this would be fine as we can clearly tell who's speaking, but being in the same paragraph makes it confusing for me either way. Also, you have two instances of showing the cover of the book, and two instances of telling the readers it's chapter one of the book. Also, it's all in bold print. I don't know if it's a common problem for readers, but I personally have trouble reading something if it's all in bold print. It bothers my eyes for some reason.
Am I saying your book is BAD though? No. It just needs editing, and splitting up what's said into different paragraphs. I'm sure if you work on it a bit more, it'll be something people enjoy reading. I wish you luck with this in the future!