Hey I think this is a good start!
I think your "beauty" could be developed a little more. A better physical description of her would be good. I'm unsure of her age.
The story seems rushed. I would love to see the scene where she's with "Avery" in the garden, be a little more indepth also. More conversation perhaps so the reader can get a feel of their relationship. Does "Brianne" trust her, are they close or newly acquainted? I want to read more!
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