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I was glued to every word; breathless to find out what would happen next. Your story is full of suspense and has an unexpected twist ending. It gave me the 'creepy-crawlies'. I felt so bad for the two little girls. The mother was just awful. What a surprise vengeance at the end! I like the way you used adjectives so well in creating your scenes. Fantastic and scary book! I hope you'll write more like this. This genre suits you.
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first off i do not suggest violent behavior but i would like to put the mother in that closet and give her a taste of her own medicine with said the book was really good
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Wow, sad story!!!! However very well written. My heart goes out to kids who go through that kind of abuse.
Eruscupcake
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Thank you all for your encouragement! To demiurge and Bek, I have edited once again, taking your suggestions and changing the problems areas. Thank you for catching my POV changes. I am currently taking a course through Writer's Digest to help catch that in my writing. I have signed up for a grammar course through them as well. I can't thank you enough for the help. My biggest worry is that my writing is not professional... mehr anzeigen
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I won't dwell on the the mechanics of your writing. Rebekahjennings has given you some good suggestions. Rather I will give you an overview of what I have gleaned from your writing. When I critique creative writing, the words have to blend smoothly with my mind, otherwise I immediately lose interest. A good story can't be told without using the correct word at every place. I read your story and I think you are an exceptional... mehr anzeigen
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Love the new cover. Gives me the heebie geebies
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I loved it. Especially the symmatry between the uncaring mother and the fighting black widows. good job
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I loved your story you had me hoooked :D x
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