Widows of the Night

Von:
User: Rgabel
Widows of the Night
A little girl learns what makes monsters

Stichwörter: 
monsters, spiders, black widows, abuse
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Gelöschter User

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mysterywriter723

I was glued to every word; breathless to find out what would happen next. Your story is full of suspense and has an unexpected twist ending. It gave me the 'creepy-crawlies'. I felt so bad for the two little girls. The mother was just awful. What a surprise vengeance at the end! I like the way you used adjectives so well in creating your scenes. Fantastic and scary book! I hope you'll write more like this. This genre suits you.

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Gelöschter User

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ladawn28

first off i do not suggest violent behavior but i would like to put the mother in that closet and give her a taste of her own medicine with said the book was really good

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eruscupcake

Wow, sad story!!!! However very well written. My heart goes out to kids who go through that kind of abuse.

Eruscupcake

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Rgabel

Thank you all for your encouragement! To demiurge and Bek, I have edited once again, taking your suggestions and changing the problems areas. Thank you for catching my POV changes. I am currently taking a course through Writer's Digest to help catch that in my writing. I have signed up for a grammar course through them as well. I can't thank you enough for the help. My biggest worry is that my writing is not professional... mehr anzeigen

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demiurge

I won't dwell on the the mechanics of your writing. Rebekahjennings has given you some good suggestions. Rather I will give you an overview of what I have gleaned from your writing. When I critique creative writing, the words have to blend smoothly with my mind, otherwise I immediately lose interest. A good story can't be told without using the correct word at every place. I read your story and I think you are an exceptional... mehr anzeigen

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thetelltaleheart

I loved it. Especially the symmatry between the uncaring mother and the fighting black widows. good job

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