BookRix

Very good. I didn't notice any mistakes. Bravo!

However, I do have several critiques:

I say this all the time about paragraphs. You need to define them! ;)
How you spaced them out isn't bad so you don't HAVE to change it, though it'd be nice.

Now, I know this is hard to do, but I was hoping for a little emotion in the story. But looked back and seeing that it was used for a school report, I understand why it isn't as in depth.

Last of all... I was so disappointed when you ended the essay with the dreaded words,

"I like Bessie Coleman because...ect."

Ah! This is like saying "And the moral of the story is...". I know, by reading what you've written, that you could come up with a much better ending! You should use your talent even when writing a report for school!

Overall, great job! This was awesome! :)
Keep writing!

---RbG

Hope you got an A+ on this, granddaughter!!! You deserve it!