BookRix

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This is a great concept. It has the feel of the Twilight Zone.

One error: March is described as having brown eyes in one paragraph, and blue in the next.

A suggestion: Don't have Stephanie say outright that "this is a parallel universe." Let the details make that reveal; they are enough.

Question: Is this 1000 words or less? It seems like longer. Make sure it's pared for the flash fiction contest. You could probably condense the morning routine into a single paragraph or remove it entirely. Also, the introductory paragraph isn't necessary. If your still struggling with the word count, consider removing the ferret. He doesn't progress the plot, therefore isn't necessary.

All said, this is a fun story.

I could really see this book being a movie!

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A spellbinding story! I couldn't stop until I had finished. What an imagination you have! Great work!