BookRix

A Steamy read which is very well done, indeed!

I agree with arkmeans, you did a nice job of surprising me by the role reversal...usually the girl is looking for the deeper connection, yet the young man was confident enough in himself to show a more caring nature!

You kept the flow of tension, bringing us up, then down, now you need to finish the take, don't let he "writer's block" get to you! LOL

Watch your paragraph structure, long prose is hard on a reader, as is the smaller font size. I am a big proponent for a lot of 'white space' on the paper.

If only one word was incorrect, then you did a mighty fine job. I usually have an 'uneditied' disclaimer while a work is in progress, that way I don't get a lot of comments about my errors, until I get a chance to fix them.

Keep it up, I will look forward to reading more.

Gwen

If you feel this review was helpful, would you follow the link to give me a rating of 1-5? 5 being the most helpful, thank you.

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Nice to see young people taking a chance on putting their thoughts on paper, no matter what the subject. Both of your stories are good. Watch using incorrect words, though. She was on the "brink" of womanhood, not "breach". Apart from that, well done.

Well I'd have to say pretty steamy. You are a good writer and what I liked about the story was it's great detail you painted a perfect picture especially when you switched from the two just having sex to them really feeling each other which turned it into making love. Great job.

Some people don't know how to take such a story but I'll read and comment on anything that is well written.