BookRix

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The story seemed unfinished. Like there is supposed to be more to it. I like the idea of it though. I thought it was interesting. :)

Do not repeat yourself. By saying that snow covered everything, we know it means it's cold. So, delete the first sentence.

She complained from the lack of food and then you went and written again, "There was nothing to eat."

Pg 6 "Whispering something he couldn't hear." Make it one sentence.

Pg 7 typo, I think. "...to get food." "To get wood?" decide which one.

I wonder how you're going to twist the famous fairy tale. Just be careful of redundancies, don't move back, but let the story flow forward.