Down the Alley

Von:
User: RayBear
Down the Alley

Eladore lives in a place where no person should have to live. It is a dark, scary, vicious place where people will literally kill to get food, and power. The bullies are more than just bullies, they don't just hurt, they torture. And they never stop torturing. People do anything to stay away from them, sometimes, when you get caught, you have a choice. It is rare, but it happens. The choice is either to die from torture, or join. Eladore is a girl who is just a weak as anybody else, but she believes that all this can stop. That is, until she gets caught...


Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

I LOVE IT RACHEl!!!!! :) :) :)

5 Kommentare
RayBear

really? For real? Sorry if it is kinda super short.

Gelöschter User

IT IS AWESOME!!!!!! :D

RayBear

YAY!!!!!!! That really cheered me up, because I was sad before I read this!!!!!!!

Gelöschter User

:D It is an AMAZING book. You did a great job :)

RayBear

Thanks!

Wichtiger Beitrag
E.K. Perkins

That's awesome Rachel! Continue writing okay?

3 Kommentare
RayBear

Okay! :D I am starting a new book. The title is kinda weird, but I LOVE the plot. :D

E.K. Perkins

I bet it'll be awesome. keep me updated!

RayBear

Okay:D thanks Eva! :):):)

Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S EVEN MORE INTENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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RayBear

Thank you!!! :D I am SOO happy that I finally found out what to do!!! and my parents agree with my disison!!! :D

Gelöschter User

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

IT'S GOTTEN SO INTENSE!!!! GOOD JOB RACHEL!!!! :)

3 Kommentare
RayBear

thank you:) So you like it?

Gelöschter User

Yes!!!!!!! :D

RayBear

YAY!!! that makes me HAPPY!

Wichtiger Beitrag
lazarus67

A good story so far. I would get someone to edit it. It's needs the spelling and grammar fixed. And then it would be great.
Btw....someone said you use too many exclamations...they were right. A good writer need very few.

3 Kommentare
RayBear

ya, I know, I have to fix that, thank you for the complement!

lazarus67

Let me know when you get more chapters...ok?

RayBear

okay:)

Wichtiger Beitrag
gospellover12

It's a great book, but I think too many exclamation marks. And I love how you used my dogs name!(:

2 Kommentare
RayBear

:) that is awesome that your dogs name is rascal!

gospellover12

yep, that's why I gave you that name for the dog

Wichtiger Beitrag
Danielle Spider:D

I like the story line, but there's always room for improvement:)

I do agree with her captors though, why would you purposely get caught for a dog? I mean, you'd probably have a better chance at saving it if you weren't captured yourself...

(I love dogs by the way)

1 Kommentar
RayBear

that is true....

Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

Scary but good.

2 Kommentare
Gelöschter User

It kind'a sounds like the population police with 3rd children sort'a.

BUT THIS IS A GOOD BOOK!!!!!!!!!!

RayBear

you have no idea how happy that makes me!!!!!!!

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