BookRix

add more plzzz

I enjoyed reading this :D There were little errors and I loved the metaphors and similies you used throughout the story :)

Okay, there are typos and possibly a misspelling or two. But your imagery is inspired, the rhythm of your prose natural, easy-flowing, and brilliant.

Do a little more proof-reading and take care of the errors, all of which are really quick fixes. Even if the story isn't finished, something this well-written deserves to be written well.

You have huge reserves of writing talent that I believe will take you far - don't ever stop!

i had just started that was only the begining... i'll keep you posted and you can continue to proofread for me and give tips,, i would really like that!!! i just saved it instead of keeping my laptop on all night!!! lol... and btw i accepted you friend request.

Lovely story, I liked the ending. Really loved your descriptive last paragraph, starting from "I am like those dark clouds that you hate..." till the end.

You need to remember that numbers need to be written as words, only the year is good to write as numbers.

After morning you need a comma not a fullstop.

July ninth, 2007, at five o'clock in the morning, my mother gave birth to me.

Nice work, would love to see an ending.