BookRix

Hi, Pixie. I read your story, and thought of two things right away - first, that what you're experiencing is common to all who have hormones and is in the process of growing into who they will eventually become. Second, that you are among those who handle this extremely difficult time by reaching out instead of in. You have a deeply empathetic heart; that's why you want to touch those who hurt you in a positive way rather than striking back. You're among those who can feel what others feel, put yourself in that person's place, and react to them the way you'd like others to react to you. Another term for that is "the golden rule," but not many bother to practice it. You do, and that sets you apart.

All young people feel as you do, as you know, and as you also pointed out, everyone handles this in a different way. Those who are pampered, selfish, and maybe not too bright will usually grow mean and petulant. Those who are naturally self-confident, well-supported by family and friends, will usually be able to shrug it off, more or less. But those who internalize each occurrence, are highly self-aware and observant, who are brilliant and thoughtful, will react as you have. They feel everything like a lit match on their skin, like a nail file scraping across a nerve ending. And they feel it not only for themselves, but for those around them.

From what I read here, I don't think you have a clue about how extraordinary you are. If you read biographies about those who have had the greatest impact on civilization, those whose writings, art, and interpretations have changed the world, you'll find an exclusive group of individuals with the same way of feeling and experiencing things as you do. You're in excellent company, and if you stay true to your basic nature while fighting toward victory over the darkest influences, you will be one of those who makes a huge, positive, difference in this world. Being kind and helpful isn't just what you do or want to do - it's who you are.

The word "depressed" can be defined as "pushed downward." You're a powerful force of energy, Pixie - resist that downward force, push upward, and illuminate everyone with the starburst of your existence.