BookRix

Paula, you were born to write short stories

A lot of punch in these vignettes.

Yes, certainly worth a long-winded explanation - and tell it all! There is so much to be had emotionally and learned inter-generationally that you just can't leave it here.

What an epic this would make!

I like your presentation in that much was said in those few pages, like the wit behind the work but I got to say the last para had me hitting my brakes trying to fugure out the story behind it, took me a while.

voting. Your feedback and critiques are welcome...Paula

Well written Paula. ./joeparente
voted and starred

Voted! its wonderful how you've told this story in just 300 words. So many emotions! Great work.

If you just fill in the blanks in between the 3 parts, you have a great story...
Laz

Very nice work. Thanks for your help with mine, I think I got it submitted now. I'm new here, don't know my way around.

How the three stories are interwoven. It's an effective technique and allows for cool little moments where you tie things together, like the "news" voice that gave factual evidence on Reb.

I'm not sure what happened in the second one, it was going smoothly until the very end when that "No!" popped up. You could maybe pare the dialogue down a tiny bit and give us a little more insight into Reb's reasoning.

I think the third story was really strong. The son's wondering if he's got bad genes is a great moment and something that I think is very true to what a child who doesn't know his full parentage would think.

Nice going :)

all the comments left when reading. Votes are nice too, but leaving a sentence or two is encouraging and I am touched by all your enthusiasm!...Paula