VERY interesting stories! I think they're different enough that you could change some names and make it into two very unique and intriguing stories!! I got a little confused in the 2012 version when the other characters came in. It's answered very thoroughly but after I spent a little while wondering what was happening:) Nice Work!!!
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Quite the revision, though I liked the subject of the book being string theory better. The governor is more believable, and it's a good thing you removed that bit about the cigar. The poor governor's Cubans were going stale outside of a humidor. Regardless, both versions are told with a great voice.
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Thanks Stephen:) In the end I had to ask myself,"Would a REAL governor so easily buy into Marvin's life? Florence Nightingale Trish, yes. That's her "Oh dear!" character...but the governor supposedly runs a state! Part of the rewrite challenge for me was to endeavor to make the... mehr anzeigen
I've tried to read this about three times today but every time I got to the end of the first page, Bookrix would stop working :/ Anyway, I loved your story. Marvin seems like he has a whole world of stories to tell and you could probably create a book entirely about his life and all of the trouble he gets into. I didn't see any errors which is a relief. Overall I thought it was well written and I liked the premise of the... mehr anzeigen
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Thanks, paige:)
It's from my very first draft, with a very few additions/deletions in the chapter. I did away with the fire debacle at the clothing store, and Maribeth having run him down accidentally as he runs away. He gets sneaked into the mansion in a more believable way in the final draft (I hope). Less preposterous and silly, anyway. Basically, though, the scene is the same:)
"Oh dear."
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