BookRix

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This story has a very promising start. I was on the edge of my seat, waiting to find out what would happen next. Is the stranger up to some evil intent? Or does he have good intentions? Will the young girl escape if necessary? Or is she safe with him? I hope you will write more soon. The scene you have set was very well written and it captured my attention. But you left me in suspense. Lol!

Very descriptive these few pages and i would love to see more of it. So please, add more. :)

Please write more! I can't wait to find out what happens.

Patrick,

This is a very interesting and descriptive story. I look forward to reading the rest.

Excellent writing my friend! :)

Tonya
x

I really like the cover and I´m curious, about how the story will continue :)

Nice start, Pat. Wondering what you have in mind. You have built up the tension gradually, so we are expectantly waiting for the next pages......

You have motivated me. No matter how busy we are, we should always spend time each day to write for ourselves. Farewell Serious Writers, Adieu Coffee Shop -- hello laptop. xx

good beginning. Looking forward to reading more...

And smooth it is. But what do we mean by that?

When I read your stories, I get this balmy summer feeling, a field full of daisies, a gentle breeze along a worn forest path ... It's a talent indeed because a person who pops into my mind, who can make me feel that way, is Colleen McCullough. You are in good company.

My instinct is to say to you to utilize that talent for making your readers feel as if they're soaking in a steamy bubblebath and then every so often pull the plug out. Make them sit up and say hey, what's happening?' Make them ride on the crest of a wave...

Perhaps you will do something like that with this story. I'll look forward to reading more when you put it up. Good luck

Wendy xxx

looking forward to more of your work.