BookRix

now i'm wondering what's going to happen over the next 13 days!

you need to slow it down a little bit and introduce the character and the setting more because it seems a little rushed. i'm not saying to slow down the action, but right now, i don't even know the character well enough to care about what happens to her, you know?

let me know when you add more!

Well, I loved what you've got so far. I read it straight through and wanted more. Please do finish. Its very good and ACTION packed in the right way.
Lions

There needs to be more to really comment on.

Write more pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.