BookRix

【≽ܫ≼】 ︀➯ http://︀i︀n︀t︀i︀m︀c︀o︀n︀t︀a︀c︀t︀.︀c︀o︀m︀?︀p︀r︀o︀f︀i︀l︀e︀_ebook-narutolover11-secret-life-of-a-mermaid-fish-out-of-water

Um...I'm not being g rude but shes writing IN ANIME FOURM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very cute. It was nice :)

However, I do have some critiques:

In general, you're supposed to enter in a new line every time a different character starts speaking. Since you didn't do that in your book, it was hard to understand what was going on. Without order, no one can really see or appreciate what you've written.

Also, I'd use more descriptive words and describe what the characters reactions are instead of putting smiley faces in the book :)

And there are points in the book where you've misspelled words. No biggy. Just go back over the book yourself and find your mistakes.

Overall, you have made several mistakes that are very noticeable, but can be fixed. It's not easy to be a writer, it takes hard work and time. I know you can do it! There is talent in everyone ;)
Good job.
Keep writing!

---RbG

i really like the pictures a lot but the story is good. u just need to add more details, but still it doesn't matter...i did the same O.O

if u dont like it dont comment... XD...