Wanting Love(working on)

Is love real or just a dream? Von:
Wanting Love(working on)
16 year old Leslie Scott has been alone for years but she finds a vampire guy named Ryan and she falls in love without knowing it.She never knew what love felt like but Ryan wants to show her.After finding out Ryan has done something behind her back she finds out what love felt like and how it feels like to lose it.Will she forgive him or will she ignore him no matter what her heart felt like.

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  • 1548 Wörter
  • Ab 0 Jahren
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  • Veröffentlichung: 17.11.2012
Beiträge und Kommentare
gooduklady
Wichtiger Beitrag
gooduklady

I read the first ten lines and had to stop.

1) Have you heard of paragraphs? You cannot write an entire story without dividing it up into paragraphs. The reader's eyes will cross after a few lines.

2) You need to use spell check.

3) Start reading lots of good books. Learn how a sentence should be written. Learn about tenses, grammar and spelling.

This book needs lots of work, which should keep you busy for a while.

Good luck to... mehr anzeigen

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