Falling in Love with a Vampire(Working on a chapter everyday)

Can vampire love really last forever? Von:
Falling in Love with a Vampire(Working on a chapter everyday)
"Takato?"I say as tears pool up in my eyes. Haku was looking at him madly.Takato turns around from kissing the another girl.My heart was aching."Nacomy..it's..not what it seems."He says and reaches for me.Somethings break inside the near by apartment as i fist my hands.He ignores it and i step back."You fuckin' cheater!"I scream and things kept breaking from inside my apartment.Haku put a hand on my shoulder to calm me.I unfisted my hands.I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.I never cried.Not since my parents died.A sob passed my lips and i ran off crying.Haku and Takato called my name but i kept running.I never wanted to love again.No matter who it was.love hurts to much.And i learned the hard way.

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Christiana Hinojosa

Please update this book I want to know what happens please. I love reading this book.

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Gelöschter User

Not bad! :) I'll be waiting to read more of this awesome story.

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Gelöschter User

You've made a good start on what I think is going to be a good read! I particularly liked that you had character building and images at the beginning - it was a nice touch. My only advice is that you try paraphrasing and breaking what you've already written down into smaller paragraphs. It will just make it easier for the reader to keep track that way :) Other than that though, keep up the good work and good luck writing a... mehr anzeigen

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Faith.Raven

i love your idea, and i love the way you set it out by showing the pics and info at the beginning and then went in to the story.
but a few things you can improve on is that start your writing not exactly below the chapter title but leave some space. and the book isn't in chapters. it's hard to read and it looks like a big block which could put some people off reading it.
other than that wicked book love every word please let... mehr anzeigen

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