BookRix

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Great start hun. And you have some fantastic ideas. Don't stop writing. Keep putting those thoughts down on paper. You'll find that the more you write, the better a writer you'll become. And don't be afraid to experiment. Write it one way, they take the same thing and sort of turn it sideways and write the exact same thing in a slightly different light. I find that this really helps me and often I go with the sideways version of things. We're all a little bent in different ways - haha.
Friendly Advice..
Don't be afraid of making short sentences. Print it out and sit down with someone and ask them, where they'd start and stop their paragraphs. This is something that I actually have a hard time doing as well. I never know quite where to break things so that they flow better.
And finally, try not to use slang unless it's coming from one of your characters as he or she is speaking. Please.. Trust me on that. And please believe me, I'd never ever pick on you. I want you to keep writing and add to what you've already started. Great start. Keep at it!

this my first book evrer written so cut me some slack.