omg. i love this story! it is very well detailed and almost(if it isnt) poetic. you should write many more. poems and stories both.. i think you could do any of them. you are a great author:) this writing to me seems like you are a passionate person, and that makes a great writer!! good luck with future peices.
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keep it up cause your book could be turned in to a good bestseller!
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keep it up cause your book could be turned in to a good bestseller!
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keep it up cause your book could be turned in to a good bestseller!
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this is a good start kepp it up mayalex i would like to read more!
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Yeah I want to read more too, keep up the good work see you soon xxx
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A excellent idea and you made the font easy to read
I enjoyed this very much will wait in anticipation for the follow up
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Milly, you have the makings of a fabulous writer. Your scene description shows real promise, and you have opened with a good hook.
Two small suggestions to improve this opening: Use Word and do a quick spell-check. It isn't foolproof, but it's an essential tool. All of us need it:)
Consider breaking the long narrative block into paragraphs. This accomplishes several things, not the least of which is ease on the reader's eye.
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