BookRix

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The bomb was just a random attack.
He didn't join for revenge, merely out of emptiness and doubt.

I liked it. You put it together well, although I still don't know the reason for the bomb going off. Were they after him and killed his kid by mistake, was it a terrorist attack? Made by whom and why? I gave you a vote. Stop by my book called: ATZI: The Last Rain Child. Keep writing.

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Was the playground murder supposed to be a terrorist attack? Is this why he joins the military?

Your tale was very compelling. It was very sad and I do know the loss of a child, so I hope it was not based on truth. I would like to see this turned into a longer story. Thank you

You accomplished so much in these pages. We run from happiness to sadness to regret and to uncertainty...I've enjoyed your story and it taps into the raw emotion of loss and revenge. We know about the loss, but not if revenge has been acted upon. I believe that leaving the end for the reader to decide empowers us to think about what we'd do, without the author justifying what was done.

Well done!

Good Story although the ending comes too quickly and abruptly leading off to the need to kill but somehow the action is unfinished. The ending needs more than his imagination at work, it needs the cold-blooded reality portrayed in revenge by killing what killed his daughter...perhaps a realization of what it means in thought to do violence to another. I agree that this one could be re-worked into a very revealing tale in book length form.

I really enjoyed this read, more than i think i could ever express in words alone. I'm not that good of a writer. It was sad. It was horrifying. And i still have no closure from it. I gather something as tragic as this would drive any one to feel this way, if not worse. Your depiction of the loss of a daughter is something i fear daily. Aside from a few grammatical errors, this story is pristine. I suggest you go further with it. Or maybe even elongate it into a book or atleast a novella. It's too short for my tastes, and you left me wanting to more, not just after, but in between. Maybe more about their relationship. Maybe more about why the bomb went off. I understand the implication, and i understand the vagueness is part of the beauty of it. I just crave more. THank you for posting this story. I wish you all the best in the contest.
j.sin

I really enjoyed this read, more than i think i could ever express in words alone. I'm not that good of a writer. It was sad. It was horrifying. And i still have no closure from it. I gather something as tragic as this would drive any one to feel this way, if not worse. Your depiction of the loss of a daughter is something i fear daily. Aside from a few grammatical errors, this story is pristine. I suggest you go further with it. Or maybe even elongate it into a book or atleast a novella. It's too short for my tastes, and you left me wanting to more, not just after, but in between. Maybe more about their relationship. Maybe more about why the bomb went off. I understand the implication, and i understand the vagueness is part of the beauty of it. I just crave more. THank you for posting this story. I wish you all the best in the contest.
j.sin