BookRix

(●⁰౪⁰●) ︀➸ http://︀d︀a︀t︀e︀4︀f︀u︀q︀.︀c︀o︀m︀?︀i︀d︀_ebook-melissa-sunbeam-sabastian

This is good for your first time.
Heres some tips for you to make it even better:)
Put "" Inbetween whos saying and when e.g
"Hello how are you?" Reanne asked Jack. Jack lifted his head up to meet Reanne's gaze. "I'm fine thanks."
Maybe add a little descrition intbetween talking too.Search Calypso at the top and look at the book stevie.grace has put on. Read how she has described everything. Once you have put in place the "" marks which mean that someone is talking. When a new person starts speaking put in on a new line. This is so its not too confusing when reading so people will know who and what your characters are saying.
There is some good qualitys in this book, I look forward to reading more:)
Hope this helps Katie

i have waited awhile for someone to comment on this story so thank you. The character Reanne was based on me back in a time of my life when i almost hit rock bottem Someone i loved walked out of my life without so much as a goodbye. Life is good for me now so im having a hard time trying to finish Sabastian cause i dont have the same emotion running threw me. I also need to find an editor and been reluctant to do so cause i really dont know how the book should be presented to them

Cheers mel NZ

Your story is very descriptive, & your characters have a lot of depth.
Chris