BookRix

Hi I plan to publish a remake of this instead.A longer version.Thankyou for taking the time to read this and give your comments.Thanks :).
I'll tell you when I've put it here already ^^
Thankyou!!!!!

"Fae" is spelled "fey." Unless you made these creatures up from scratch, in which case I have no business telling you what's what.

...Why not try to perfect this? Or any other of your stories. Go through the writer's method that I'm sure your English teachers have always tried to impress upon you. Treat this story as a first draft, proofread it, and apply corrections. Edit and add to it as necessary. I know I would love to give a second opinion after you've reposted it with whatever changes you make. I think it will help your progression.

Well this had a very dynamic beginning, especially with Lucian begging his sister not to marry him off. But you might want to read this over and edit out your typos. In the first page, there are a few redundancies, especially with the world dear. Also on the third page it should have been "his need to be drunk" instead of "his needsto be drunk".
Also check your punctuation, in the second page, a few periods and commas are missing.
Despite the typos, I was able to really enjoy this story. It was great that you didn't just have Angelique and Lucian agree to marry from the beginning, it made them out to interesting characters and their connection in the end was lovely.
Please try to continue since this story felt a bit rushed. Please let me know when you have more posted
-Angely

it was for our school gazette so i really made it like that XD.but i do hope to make the story longer... :)

guess so but it WAS a bit too short for me