Book I of Unleashed

The dead and their princess will rise once again... Von:
User: murderess
Book I of Unleashed
Princess Lucifa Belshirin was broken after Jack was killed in front of her very eyes and her parents enslaved by her crazy vampire suitor. To protect her, she was put into a deep sleep and given to the Kingdom of Shadows. Freedom and vengeance never tasted so sweet but the prince given to her proved to be a more difficult task for her broken demon heart.
Vampires had overthrown the royals and made the Kingdom of Shadows their own. Humans had become their slaves and the only hope left was to awaken the devil’s daughter-the princess of the dead. The only price they had to pay was to sacrifice their prince to become her slave eternally.
Prince Kyle Ravens did not want to be enslaved eternally to a demon princess but for the sake of the kingdom he would bloody hell comply. The only consolation was his vow to himself that the demon would never have his heart even if it killed him.

Beiträge und Kommentare
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Gelöschter User

I like the graveyard imagery in this creepy story.

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Vigilant_One

This one was very polished. I didn't see a single mistake. It makes me happy to see you improve so much.

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Vigilant_One

When I read your blurbs your premises are more and more outlandish with each one I see. The turnaround is when I give them a shot. You have excellent flow that sells these stories from the start. You need to finish one!

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robbedbygreed

So this story is very... dark. It wasn't bad until the last couple sentences. It made me shudder.

But your writing is good, though it could be better. And some of your sentences were confusing, so I think you could go back and simplify them.

That said, I think you've mastered the basics of the English language. So now you should begin to add on to your knowledge and slowly embellish your writing. And not simply with words,... mehr anzeigen

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Crystal.Heart

Wow off to a great start.I love how u didn't rush throw any important parts and was carefully written Hope u continue!<3

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Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE