BookRix

Loved it. This is my favorite book by you. Kept me interested, was enjoyable and left me wanting more.....

Okay, thank you!

The story has a good beginning. I think you can go somewhere with this idea.

There are some things you might want to look into with your writing though.

In the dialogue when you change speakers it is hard to keep track of who is talking. You need to make a new paragraph when someone new is talking, even if they only say one word.

The new speaker has a new thought, and that requires there own paragraph.

Then do a little self editing.

I think you have many good ideas, so keep up the writing.

I look forward to reading more of this story.