BookRix

An interesting story with a surprising end. Just try to revise it again to correct some mistakes.

I am not very good at critiquing other people's work and I certainly do not intend to be harsh. However, your piece is full of grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and just does not read well. I applaud your attempt to write a story, but I suggest you take writing classes which will help you immensely. All the best.

Thank you for participating in our
fiction writing contest "My Best Fiction".

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Very good..I like the way you keep bringing your stories back to the Lord...Paula

Very moving story.

Teenagers do have the capability of doing very amoral things. Probably one of the worst of which happened over here in Florida, in Dunbar a few years back.

The end was very surprising!