Sir, I read this with interest. I feel the story does not flow or lend itself to pace. Abit more characterisation would be helpful and some editing useful. I have also written a short story perhaps I could send it to You for Your Comments. Thanks! Thadius 147.
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While a good story, there are a few points I feel need attention. Page 15 Concession in fare, perhaps, reduction in cost, would add to flow.Page 19
Perhaps, Outlined instead of chalked. Page 24. Pehaps, The moon had risen.Page 26 Perhaps , Use, to date, not, till date.
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While a good story, there are a few points I feel need attention. Page 15 Concession in fare, perhaps, reduction in cost, would add to flow.Page 19
Perhaps, Outlined instead of chalked. Page 24. Pehaps, The moon had risen.Page 26 Perhaps , Use, to date, not, till date.
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Thanks a lot. Ialso want to thank all my readers and the critics for taking time in pointing out the merits and demerits of the work.
mangal
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I am a new comer to this site.I am surprised by the theme and standard of your writing. Definitely different from the crowd, and enjoyable
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Thanks for sharing your talent, I love to step into another imaginative world! Elizabeth
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Behind the simple story telling, there runs some deeper observations.Thought provoking, I feel.
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It reminds me some of our wild college days.Nice reading.
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Bear-hug of lovers is much stronger than the embrace of other blind forces!!!
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The boys and the girls found love in the face of grave danger, which turned out to be no danger at all. I liked.
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