BookRix

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I love fantasies, and this one is starting out to be a very good one.

Keep up the good work, and let me know when you make updates. Please!!

Thanx:) I actually realized the misspelling on the title when I looked at it this last time hehe. thank you for the tips and compliments :)

I saw your post on the forum so i came over to your page to check you out.

I clicked on this one, so that i could get a sample of your writing and I think you are quite good.

I got a bit confused with who was saying what within the events on the first chapter. You must always put dialogue on a new line when the speaker changes:

For example you wrote about James looking in the mirror and then he turned. "You look lovely..."

You should have put "You look lovely..."
on a separate line and then describe to us who was speaking. In this case it was the little girl, but that was unclear. You do that constantly though out your book, so you need to go back and alter that.

Your spelling is very good, but like the rest of us, it always needs working on. I'm a lot older than you, but I still spell things incorrectly. It's a constant lesson. BTW It's 'Guard' not 'gaurd' in your title. That could have put people off from reading. The cover is so important. It's your shop window.

I must say, your strength is in your descriptive passages. I could see an emerging talent there.

Well done. Keep writing and learning.
Wendyxx