BookRix

Ah romance, romance!

I agree with Val, needs help and you rushed it. Needed more detail to move it forward more smoothly. If you fill it more, this could become a very long, lovely novel.

Even the ending, could have done with a bit more of description of her feelings and what happened between them.

Loved the story, but do add more to it. The cover is awesome btw. :)

Oh my gosh thank you soooooo much!

I read your comment and I ended up hugging my sister hehe.

Thank you so much for your opinion! Also, for your time to correct the grammar. I do have a huge trouble in there. Your comment really means alot to me!!

I have sent the email to you, thank you so much! (:

I would first like to say that I am truly impressed with your first attempt at a story, here on Bookrix? Why? Because not only are you fourteen years of age, but also because English is not your native language. Bravo!

I could no more write a story in another language NOW (at almost 70) than fly to the moon. You are just a kid, and have done a pretty decent job.

What I find really exciting is that although you have used inappropriate words and lots of your sentence structure is incorrect - IT DOES NOT MATTER! I "got" what you were trying to say. I understood the story and I loved it. I find your inaccuracies charming because it is obvious you are really trying to not only write a story that will captivate the reader, but you are doing it in English, which is apparently a new and difficult language.

This is a very good story, Lulu, and I shall be honored if you will email it to me so I can help you put it into acceptable English.

Well done!