BookRix

Wow. THis was actually very worth the read... I don't know why you don't have more votes. GOod job.
:P

You are obviously an artist. Great description. I was compelled to keep reading. Sad subject, but very well handeled. you got a vote and a star from me. God Bless

I like your descriptions as you are painting a world unbeknownst to me. However, the story starts out too slowly. I wanted some action to engage me.

Hi Carrie,
Thanks a lot for your feedback. Yes, the piece is adapted from my book 'Looking Through the Windows of Madness'. I've amended the p.15 error - what can I say!
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again,
Leo

A neat little slice of life, made all the better for being on the dark side of real. You've packed a lot into these pages, however and I did get the impression this was more of a novel extract than a short story. Enjoyed the descriptions, bar from a couple of places where I felt they were just a little too list-like. Still, the book held my interest and it's obvious you can write. You might want to check out a glaring one word error at the top of page 15.

Haven't voted on any of these entries yet as I want to read all the contenders first, but this one's definitely in the running for me.

I really liked this story but the end result was a rather sad commentary on the horrors of growing up with a demented parent. Obviously this young fellow seemed to have found a rather interesting way of coping with the impossible. My heart went out to him for his suffering.

I really enjoyed this very descriptive and exciting story. I look forward to reading more of your work!

Thank you for participating in our short story writing contest "Rain Stories".

______
BookRix - your place to read, write and network free literature on the internet...