BookRix

i do like your new cover though!

is better than the first, but you can definitely add more to this. she is devestated about the loss and you really need to really show that. also, will you think about changing some of the dialogue in chapter one because i'm not sure i've ever heard people really talk like that.

i think this will be a great story - so let me know what you think of my editing ideas.

aside from the dialogue being a little bit too cheesy, this is a great lead up to what could be a really interesting story.

let me know when you add more!