Wichtiger Beitrag
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I thinkk the car crash needs to be a bit longer. It just sounds very rushed.
On page 13, you say the girl was 'ignorant', if yo mean she was being rude, then you mean 'arrogant' Sorry, but when people say 'ignorant' when they mean 'arrogant' it annoys the crap outta me.
Sounds like an interesting plot :) KMU
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Love it so far! I think you should definitely keep writing..
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