BookRix

I would like to know if there is going to be an update soon for this book

I wish I could understand why everyone is so eager to read this, call me picky but the first thing that ruins the story's telling is the grammar. I'm not sure what the case is with why you don't spell check your work but be considerate when you submit your work, try to ponder if your writing is legible and able to flow from one point to another.

Then comes the actual story, you start it off dropping this huge, steaming, pile of information on the reader without first letting us actually get to know the narrator or sympathize with her. To me she seems like the over dramatic chick that the teenage writers want us to outright hate because she's not the main character.

So far the main girl comes off as overbearing and annoying. Is that how you wanted her to be, and that she would develop into something less obnoxious? I dunno' maybe you could've started it off with her telling us what she was getting ready to do in a more graceful manner.

THEN how she described the girls "She looks like a slut" eloquent choice of words... not. How about maybe hinting that she has a bad attitude or something maybe describe her demeanor instead of slapping an instant hate tag on the girl before she even got to speak. Or hey, this may be crazy but maybe try not making her the bane of the main character's existence before she even gets to speak? Or is that intentional too? Is the MC that petty and childish? Seems that way to me.

Another problem I noticed was transitioning, when the hell did the main character even go into another room to listen to the boys talk about her?! Does she have teleportation abilities we don't know about? Seriously, what the fuck.

It probably a nice story in your head or even in later chapters, but that opening...ugh, it came out a mess I can't bring myself to continue looking at this. It was all over the place and I was not pleased. Sorry, if this seems harsh I'm not so gentle as I am a reader and it is our job to help a writer progress from this horrible stage of writing.

Update plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If you really like erotica, sex and a book to fire you up, and make you wet, well, the best of the best i can think is Paulo Coelho - Eleven Minutes, and you can find it here for free:
https://myfreekindle.blogspot.de/2017/07/the-alchemist-by-paulo-coelho-free.html

Update please

U gotta continue writing!!! Plz...

is the book finished

update please

please update

update please