BookRix

but... ummm... I think you spelled Beginnings wrong... Want me to help you fix it? (The right spelling is the one I just used.) Sorry.... I just felt I should let you know. :D

Wow
Will read soon. Remind me.
Wendy
xxx

Great story! loved it! You should keep writing ;)

I have a few critiques though:

You left some words out and some words incomplete in the rush of writing. Maybe go back over what you wrote and put the 'she', 'and','or', ect where they should be and finished the half written words.

There were a few punctuation mistakes, but nothing major.

Last thing: the font was a bit wacky. It got distracting sometimes, pulling me away from the amazing words you'd penned down!

A thought : go back over your work and critique it yourself and try to make every sentence perfect(in your own way) so that anyone who reads it will just stare at your words in awe.

Over all, it was amazing! The only painfully noticeable mistakes were the incomplete words.

Keep going! Your good! I can't wait for you to write more of this!
It's a great hook ;) Let me know if you post more.

---RbG