BookRix

So is there more to come(as you indicate in the last line)? Hope so! I enjoyed this and want to find out more about the reason for the haunting - the story behind it. Good writing!

Stormwind,

an enjoyable read all the way through. Perhaps it's just me, but I don't understand why you capitalize He and She each time you wrote the words. I'm not proficient enough to know if there is a reason for this, but it was enough to cause a slight, but, harmless distraction.

Great story. I did pick up on another thing I think you should correct, but it's only a suggestion:

When the character is thinking to himself, or talking to himself, you should not use quotation marks. Instead, the thought should be in italics. You should delete the 'he thought to himself' sort of writing. When the thought is in italics, the readers understand it is a thought. Only a suggestion for you to do with as you wish.

Great job, my friend.

Thank you for participating in our short
story writing contest "Family Stories".

The Librarian