BookRix

I didn't get it until I took a look at the title again. An ingenious idea for the story and played out perfectly all the way to the end.

What a funny, detailed episode! Most of us can relate to those strange co-workers and when you're young, well, stuff happens. You hang with people you shouldn't oughta! This was a page turner and loved all the characters.

hey monarinaldi,
this is another great story from you! you set up the characters really well and moved the story along really smoothly. i kept reading straight through without even a thought about stopping.
i especially liked the details about their assistant manager.

just so you know, there are a couple mistakes:
"as i rinsed my out my bowl" on page 9 you need to take out the first "my".
after dialogue that ends in ! or ? you need to start with a capital letter, for example "Be quiet!" He yelled. but if you are using a , then you can just use a lower case letter, for example "I think chocolate mint chip is my favorite," she said looking over the contents of the freezer.
on page 12 you write "and went back to spacing off"... spacing off doesn't make sense?

i enjoyed your story, let me know when the mistakes are fixed and i'll have another read through!