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Thankyou for your comments and suggestions. When I make another book, I will be sure to inform you.

Jasmine, your stories have a lot of 'meat on the bones', so to speak, which is great news for a writer.

You can add length to your stories, and draw the reader in by developing Maria's character further.-E.G. by describing her feelings at every opportunity.

Also introduce breaks/chapters when changing scenes.-E.G. Maria's father getting divorced from his cheating wife, and describing Maria's and her siblings welfare.

Most importantly keep writing & consider developing Maria's story.-It has a lot potential.

I, for one would deffinitely love to read more of your work.

Best wishes,
Chris