BookRix

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Here's the first star!

Here's your first comment- and only one day in! There's a really great sound coming from this poem- loose and floating- just how you intended, I'm sure. Well done! Just a couple of things- did you mean to say ambiguousness? Or ambiguity? Other than that, the reader needs strict punctuation. You have commas, but there are no full stops, and this blurs the rhythm and the meaning in places. Be strict!
A style I really enjoyed though. I will promptly move on to your other book! :)