Stingray Spring Break

Family story of a crazy vacation together Von:
Stingray Spring Break
A crazy adventure of a Minnesota family on vacation in Bahamas for Spring Break!

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

i enjoyed reading this story. it seemed real. it seemed like a story you would read in a magazine, almost like reporting, but in a good way.
-- it made me feel warm, too. i'm from canada, so i know how you feel about the cold!
-- i will surely give this story my vote in the contest. :)

1 Kommentar
heatherrose5

I appreciate your vote, and funny you should say that for it is a true story in fact. Glad to meet another brave soul, the cold only improves character I find, thanks a lot for checking out my writing, I will surely check yours out as well.

Blessed
Heather rose

Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

The story was interesting but your sentence construction made it difficult to read and make sense of the story. I think the problem might be grammatical structure. You are trying to put too many ideas into each sentence when it might be better to give a sentence to each idea and thought and perhaps scene change. It felt a little disjointed in its depiction of your experiences with your family. With a re-write I think this... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
librarian

Thank you for participating in our short
story writing contest "Family Stories".

The Librarian

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