BookRix

i really appreciate the way that you write - you make the reader want to feel what you feel and understand what you understand. as with your poetry, this story makes the reader feel the emotions pouring out of the pages and the rage and turmoil you have created.

i think this short story seemed more like the ending to a long novel - although it does stand on its own. if you ever thought about extending it, i think the main character would make for a great back story.

i agree with robbedbygreed - you need to do some light editing to help smooth out the wrinkles, but other than that - bravo sir!

Wow, a very powerful piece.

However, I do have several critiques:

There were certain points where the sentences would get too long and the commas seemed to rule the paragraph, but this is mostly only in the first page.

Otherwise, great job! I like the perspective you wrote from. As I read, I felt compassion for the prisoner, yet bits of history kept telling me not to. And it seemed the soldier telling the story had similar thoughts.

There were some spots where I kind of skipped over because of the dialogue; it was a bit wordy and complicated, but good overall.

Amazing job!
Keep writing!

---RbG

The prisoner thinks he's "just a man"...but there's more to that than meets the eye. It is true that killing an unarmed man is easy; however, destroying his ideals...ha! Nearly an impossible feat.

You've managed to take the reader into a considerably dirty subject: who is right, and who is wrong? Well, maybe neither is correct...or maybe both are right. In any case, the injustices committed makes for deeper strife - war pulls everyone in.

Just the other day I had finished watching a documentary on Jesse James, the legendary outlaw of the United States. In many ways - more definitely the ideals - this story is similar to it.

Well presented, using witness testamony of the last few days of the heroic humanitarian.
"There is a great difference between free-enterprise development and revolutionary development. In one of them, wealth is concentrated in the hands of a fortunate few, the friends of the government, the best wheeler-dealers. In the other, wealth is the people’s patrimony."

You're a master of poems for sure, but when it comes to normal writing, you are also a master of puppets. Man, you put so much emotion with that mix of guilt and sacrifice. Don't take this the wrong way, but this is almost a simple story, but it becomes so exceptional through its simplicity. You, mate, captured a moment of true importance and weaved it into something magnificent with your vocabulary and grief. I wept inside when I saw the message of the note, due to your skill and talent. Master of poems, puppets and words, I'm glad to call you a bro and co-writer. Your work is spectacular. If anyone says any different then they are just jealous of your masterfull skill and are trying to cut the ropes of your talent, but they will never succeed.

I LOVE the perspective of the person telling the story. He is sent out to capture someone who was seen as both a criminal and a hero. It just makes this more complex, but in an enjoyable way.
"Bleeding his life unto the floor" I adore that line.
just one thing...where's the title on the cover? But then again, Che's picture speaks for itself to those who understand the the significance.
Me encanto este libro. Eres un escritor genial.