BookRix

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A beautiful piece of writing. You handled it perfectly. I felt as though I were there with you. Wish you well with your writing...it is excellent. I know what a dreidel is - lol.

I found this story of yours to be a very tightly woven piece of everything I find good in the Human soul.
A great 'family love' story that will stay in my heart for a very long time.
Thank you for this priceless gift from your heart...I hear it was a "A Very Good February...:)
Robin

after i posted you my review i remembered that i had not said anything about the cover you have designed/chosen: it is excellent!

i really liked this story and the way it describes, without resorting anywhere to drama or cliches, the love between brothers. in fact, this was so true to life that it put me in a reminiscent mode and i started thinking about and missing my brother. so that's quite a commendation! i also liked your narrative, simple, minimalist and without any pretensions and yet so true that it captures effortlessly the feelings of love and giving.
best of luck with this.

I did like your book cover, it was one of my first likes about your story.

Bek

Hi Graham,

I liked your story very much. I like your characterisation of the Grandfather. Nice characterisation for your protagonist too. I think you've done well with the brother also. Each character has their own quirkiness.

I like your use of metaphor, its there but not overdone. I like your use of simile too, no cleches.

I found only one repetitive word: pg 5...her house 'during' one of my rare visits to the east coast. 'During' our conversation... Maybe the 1st 'during' could be 'while on' or 'as part of'. Or better yet keep the first 'during' and then rather than tell us about the conversation, 'show' it as a flashback, including the dialogue, so the reader feels like they're in it with you.

I've heard that a reader's experience can be improved if the writer keeps the paragraphs fairly small, it breaks it up a little and apparently keeps our concentration for longer.

I'd never heard of 'magnanimously' and so you gave me an opportunity to look this one up, and it mean't 'generously'.
But I couldn't find what a 'dreidel' was and thought it might be a non-english word.

Good luck, I will vote for you.

Bek :)

Hi - A very nice story. I too have a Brother (who lives in Mexico). He is very generous and it is the sort of thing he would do. Your story illustrates the principle (in a converse sort of way) that it's not the value of a gift that is important it's the love and empathy behind the giving that counts. Also the pinciple that whatever the gift we must always recieve it graciuosly. We have a Jewish raconteur - Rabbi Lionel Blue - and it's just the type of story he reounts on the radio in the morning. Excellent I enjoyed it. JOHN.

hi!
i like the story. very good (sorry, my english is bad)

Yesterday tells me my horoscope the same number, really.
regards, Johnny