BookRix

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Did you get the last comment I left you? It looks like you've shortened it even further. At this point, it's a news report, not a story, and certainly not a book. Please don't ask for suggestions if you aren't going to bother at least trying to take them. The way you originally had it was a lot closer to a story, and as I explained, had the potential to be a great one if you added to it. Instead, you basically just told us two friends got in a car accident and died. That's not something people are going to get excited about reading.