BookRix

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Hi
I;ve read your first two pages and congratulations.
I could say a thousand diffent things but you've only launched into chapter 1 of your book. Besides you are 15 and it takes courage o start off a book.
What I'd suggest is one important thing and hat is to introduce a lead, a fresh lead very early in the story.
Here is Eric. To make him more interesting perhaps he has lost his left hand in a battle and is fitted wit an artificial one.
In the situation where he finds the girl perhaps he remembers how he lost his hand and who helps him. I've known soldiers who've lost limbs and they deliberately remove them to talk to them. You might try something like that on the girl.
In spite of the girl's state when she sees him helping her she will ask how he came to lose his hand. It is like sharing experiences makes friends. Try it.
You might bring other things into the equation to create tension. Robbers or bandits in the woods,wolves and the lack of food. Plan out what will happen and write it.
Good luck and continue writing.
Cleveland W. Gibson
My latest stories appear in 'What the Dickens magazine' online