BookRix

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thanks for the advise and compliments, i deleted the creature part because it was too realving, what you said was right.
so thank you (:

Sounds good so far. I like it because its original. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Sounds good so far. I like it because its original. Can't wait for the next chapter!

I'm not into horror stories, but I had to read it. An excellent start. I hope you will not leave it at that.
Laz

Like all good writers, you have the beginnings of a good story. There is definitely tension, building the readers curiosity, and action.

It's like riding a bicycle. You start out wobbly and get better. Keep writing, a lot! Let your reader figure out some things, don't explain everything. I can see you have a writer's mind, a natural story teller.

You have repeated a paragraph right before you introduce us to the creature. Learning the program of Bookrix is a challenge! I am looking forward to your next chapter. Robynn

wonderful book! great for all readers!
Please update soon.