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I don't understand the end. What does being a parent have to do with money rain?

A very different concept, and yet compelling in a strange sort of way. I think you have lots of potential! Keep plugging away. I voted for you and gave you a star that I hope will help give you confidence to stay with it. God Bless.

The end suggests your mc was about to lose what was most precious to him, when the girl either hung up or he lost connection and it's that losing connection (with reality, one's human side?) that's at the heart of the story for me. Money raining down too - it's still rain, isn't it? And worse it's causing bloodshed. I like your style, and it's not a problem for me, but I reckon some might not appreciate this work as the mc comes over as an unsympathetic character and people do like to empathise and identify. It's called mainstream mentality, lol. Personally, I prefer a work which makes you stop and think - which this does. You get my vote.

Well it was a rather wierd consept. It was wierdly written. It doesnt seem to flow, it seems to drag. It was a little to dark for my tastes. Im not saying you are a bad author, you have a lot of potential but you should try and make it a little easiar to read by conveying your thoughts a little better. and by seperating the diolouge using " " quotations. for example.
"What are you talking about" Jenny exclaimed. i am not at all trying to sound rude or offend you, constructive critism. hope i helped. (: Keep up ythe good work.

Strange story and very rambling and most definitely bloodthirsty.

Thank you for participating in our short story writing contest "Rain Stories".

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