BookRix

Thanks for the advice! I'll try to fix it up.

Self editing is the most difficult part of writing a book or even a short story. You have to be able to separate yourself from the words. Cleanse your mind and go over it and you will se your mistakes much clearer. And then do it again, and again, and again.
The hardest style of writing is in first person. Until you have some experience I would not suggest it because it simply does not read well. It feels clanky and confused. Tell it like a story not like a news report.

awesome keep it up