BookRix

Good story line, really promising. Just some basic grammar and spelling stuff, nothing nobody else doesn't have. One thing though, you might want to tone down the exclamation marks. They loose meaning if every sentence ends in one. Some parts seem to move a little fast, or just not sound right. Nothing a little re-reading can't fix. Some parts get confusing. For example, it is possible I missed it, but what is the amethyst cross? And how does Nagato know the dark angle is going to take it at 11:30 exactly? Maybe try putting in a religious/mythology based prologue to straighten that out so you don't have to worry about explaining it further on in the book. That's what I do. I will be checking in on this later, great idea! :)