If you just want to make it a short story I would try to put more sentience's together. But if you want a poem, make it a MLA format :]]
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Man, that is some stuff right there! Certainly a tragedy, but a bitter sweet one.
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This was very descriptive, and it held my attention 'til the end. However, I must wonder at the purpose of the story. The theme wasn't noticeable, if there was a theme. The last line "There is silence," standing by itself is very effective, but the story itself is lacking purpose.
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You're right, there's no purpose
This can easily be changed to one that does have a purpose. I'm glad I read it :)
To be honest, I started out with a totally different plan, then I went 'hey what if..' so it was kind of an impulse thing. I don't think I want to change it, it's kind of a whim, so not really worth the trouble that a poem of mine would be for example. I do put more thought into those.
I see. Everyone has their comfort zone.
Loved the story, it is well written. The title however is somewhat misleading. Silence seems a better fit. At least to me.
Or perhaps Sunrise Wave.
Although the title does leave an air of mystery to the story.
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deception is key here Ken.
Other than that i really like it. :]]
i don't understand your first comment, but i'm glad you like it :)
lol okay. Your book is kinds choppie, try to put more than one sentences together xD If that helps
could you give me an example of me not putter sentences together?