BookRix

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I would love to know what happens next

Love it. Maybe after the competition you could carry this on a bit longer.
Voted

John

It's always really hard to imagine the death of a child - especially for a parent. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like. Although you story is quite short, it was well written and filled with emotions.

Nicely done!

I am more of a person for happy endings, but in the loss of a loved one this can never happen. The emotions were very well portrayed. I felt the pain with the woman. Still I would have hoped for a less tragic ending. Perhaps you could continue the story, with something stopping the woman from doing what you imply she is about to do.

Very well written.

As a mom, I almost couldn't read it. But I did. And I gave you a tear-streaked vote.

And what a point is it. Dealing is one of hardest things and eveyone deals differently. Nice work.

Still not my favorite genre, but I still feel you did this quite well. So, you get my vote. Robynn

Don't tell me she did what I think she did?

Over all, this is a good story. My only issues with it are, 1: The second paragraph seems to sputter. Read it out loud and you'll see what I mean. Part of that is attributed to 2: the line "I felt I needed closure." When writing in 1st person, it is a redundancy to say "I felt" or "I saw" because the reader is already aware that the POV is that of the narrator. A line like that pulls the reader away from the intimate perspective that 1st person POV provides, a perspective which is crucial to the poignancy of your story.
Sorry if it seems like I'm carrying on about one little thing, but it's the smallest errors that need the most explanation.
Again, this is a good story. The character's awareness and focus on the little details of the world do well to show the mental instability. Nicely done.